What doesn`t break you makes you stronger ??

So yeah, I`m in Rome.

A full 5 years ago I had traveled here. On a student ID card, a second-class Eurail pass and a backpack that contained more of apples, ready-to-eat food packets and bread than clothes. Clad in skinny jeans and sneakers a bright blue and white polka dotted dress and a red biker jacket - I felt on top of the world when I got down the train at Roma Termini - "I`m in freakin' Caeser`s Rome.. in the history-book Rome..How wow is that !! Another tick off my 'Things to do before I turn 30' list. We were a bunch of 5 which got split into 2 and 3 'coz of some inane tiff and I was stuck with miss hoity-toity who insisted on doing walking tours wearing 4-inch high heels. "Nevermind, Im in freaking Rome !!!", I`d think, "Wait till I put up the pictures and make people back in college jealous. Yeehawwww !!

And it so happened, every piazza every fountain I got clicked in, all I could think off was that I need to come back here with mom and dad and a guy I love and kiss him thoroughly in fronta these fountains (when mom n dad would be busy admiring the half-naked sculptures rising out of these fountains). I prepped myself up on all the places I`d take my guy to, where we would eat the most delectable gelatos, the alleys we would try and get lost in, the works. I remember having thrown 2 coins into the Trevi fountain - one to get me 'True-Lovee :D' and another to get me back here with that trueee-love. And .... surprise surprise - They came TRUE !! :D

A carefully planned Italy and Austria trip, with the planning having started way back in mid-December, with weekly To-Do lists as a run-up to this trip - This was going to be my dream trip to Europe with S and I was adamant to make it a trip that he would remember and reminisce about with much fondness. I`d gone to Boots pretty much every alternate day in the whole of last month, picking up stuff we would and wouldn't need :D on this trip. Detailed our itineraries to the hour, planned out outfits, ran that extra mile on the treadmill to look fit and toned and pretty in those outfits, drank enough water to send me scurrying to the loo every half an hour at work (needed that fresh pimple-free skin for the pictures you know !), got my hair cut and styled differently (after what ? growing them out for a year!!), got myself hot-pink sneakers (I know that was dumb.. but heyyy I was going to Eur-freakin-ope !!), bought a nice big-ass hold-me-all tote-bag to carry my world with me (as is my wont! :S), bought travel packs of toiletries and lipsticks in atleast 3 different shades of red and pink, accessories and bling to go with the shoes and outfits and shocking nail-paints in as many shades .... Din`t leave much room for spontaneity did I ?!!

And then came the signs ...
Not able to apply for an Italian tourist visa = prospect of trouble 'coz of my schengen business visa
A new pope = freaking hordes of pious (and rogue) crowds thronging to Rome
The whole italian marines fiasco 2 weeks before our travel = Strained India-Italy diplomatic ties = More possibility of visa trouble
Both of us down with bad bouts of flu and cough a week before our travel = Irritable travellers ? = Not quite the recipe for a romantic trip is it ?
Parents getting sudden cold feet on the eve of our travel and asking us if we can bypass Italy = Me getting pissed at their unnecessary paranoia :|

Needless to say, all of these signs could not hold their stead against our grand 'dream trip' plans. I had to get into that Gondola with my guy and float by, under the crumbling Venetian bridges before that quaint city drowns under its many canals.
And so we landed in Rome after buying ourselves new flashy and crazy-expensive Raybans at Heathrow and a fancy layover at Copenhagen. S puts up our itinerary " Copenhagen-> Rome -> Vatican city -> Napoli -> Capri -> Venice -> Vienna -> Salzburg -> Innsbruck -> Linz -> London" on FB, switches off his phone and eases into his seat for the long flight ahead.

I should've been beside myself with excitement as we waited for our luggage - this was my dream coming true. But all I felt was this strange sudden tiredness and nagging foreboding as we made our way to our peppy youth hostel. I had insisted upon getting the same room and youth hostel as the previous time. Had this strange obsession of wanting to relive Europe like the earlier time - as a backpacker - but this time with my guy walking beside me. We didn't get the room we`d requested for - another hint.We anyways retire for the night and all I could dream of was peering down the Colosseum in S's arms and a life-is-good smile on my face.

The next day we get to the station only to find that the Colosseum is closed - the only day in the year it is closed, coz of Good Friday. Now this was not going as per my carefully charted out plan...another hint ! The virgo in me is a little annoyed, but quickly recovers and decides that we take on the Vatican today and keep the Colosseum for the next day. So we get to the Vatican and take this really nice guided tour around the Vatican Museum and the Sistine Chapel. By the time we are done and head over to the St. Peters Basilica, it has closed down for the today. Now, I start getting extremely irritated at these out-of-plan things cropping up. But S seems to be enjoying himself, so I compose myself and we set out to discover Rome on foot with a map in hand. The Pantheon too has closed down for the day, but I`m past caring. I`m having fun walking beside S, pointing out nice photo-ops to him. He seems pleased with what his lens is capturing. We reach the Trevi fountain and all my annoyance dissipates at the sight of the beautifully lit up fountain. I whisper out my thanks to the fountain for having kept its promise and happily snuggle against S at the thought of some-wishes-coming-true-afterall. So far so good....

We walk back to our hostel from Termini, tired but happy. S is walking a couple of steps ahead of me looking out for an internet cafe. Work mailboxes needed to be checked out and cleared before we head out of Rome the next day. I feel bike lights blinking at me and I notice that a scooterist has climbed onto the pavement and is heading towards us. I think that the poor guy wants to take a shortcut to the next turning and I politely make way for him ...... and the next thing I know ... or feel.. is my handbag .. my trusty new tote getting snatched away from my shoulder by this scooter borne thief and he speeding away. I shout out and run behind him ... S chases after it ... We`re shouting out for help trying to flag down cars/bikes .. anything that would stop and help us .. but there were none. The thief takes a turn at the next crossing and is gone .... Our passports, my phone (a birthday gift from S .. having priceless family pictures and loving texts in it), my wallet and assorted credit cards and a very important PAN card, our exquisite scottish scarves, our new raybans, S`s fave ipod, my carefully picked out makeup, the comb that I always was very touchy about .. hell even that one lip balm I had packed ... ALL GONE ! In that one fraction of a second where I was too polite and unsuspecting to be giving way to a suspicious character who had climbed onto the pavement in those very minutes where I feel behind S and looked vulnerable. I remember mumbling 'this is not happening ... it can`t happen to us' to myself when the robber had disappeared from our sight. I remember ...... how the world around us operated as normal and unbothered as it could as our world seemed to be crumbling around us ... getting robbed of our identity papers in a foreign, unfriendly land ... How the people around us just looked on puffing away on their smokes as we hapless souls tried to calm ourselves .. how cold S's hands felt as my hand shivered in them ... how no car no bike .. hell not even a single person came to our help when we were running on the streets crying out for help.... How we got pushed from one police station to another as no policeman seemed interested in writing down our complaint ...

This was last Friday ... We`ve run pillar to post in this dirty filthy city, in rain and a hailstorm, trying to get papers made that will re-establish our identities as dignified law-abiding persons and not one of the million refugees-turned-thieves that thrive in every lane in this lawless city .. We now know who our friends are and how at the end of the day it is family and family alone that really gives a damn about you...

These past few days have taught me how much it means to have S with me .. beside me .. to just look at his face and know that it ain`t the end of the world as long as he`s around ... We wait for the hours to go by ... waiting at times in despair and other times in the hope of something better that tomorrow might reveal.

They say what doesn`t break you should make you stronger.I don`t really know about the stronger part. What I do know however is that letting go isn`t half as difficult as the thought of having to let go. Even more difficult is coming to terms with the former without being prepared about the possibility of the latter ...
Heavy stuff ?? Well, what else did you expect :)