Okaay ...

Almost a year since I graced 'My Space' with my words..Can already see a mesh of cobwebs obscuring any cursory glance at this space .. Im sure not many of you would`ve taken the pain of clearing through the cobwebs and the inch-thick layer of dust lying around here ..

Im very much alive .. dunno whether I can use that cheesy t-shirt tagline "Alive and kicking" though..

The last post was written while I was away in France .. Horibbly homesick .. counting the days when Id get back home.Its perhaps the only thing common in life then and life now .. Homesickness.

When I`d left for France, Dad`s transfer was imminent and I knew this might be the last time I`d be in my cozy lil forest bungalow-ish Jayanagar home. That last wistful look at my house as I loaded the huge suitcases into the car is gonna be one of the frames in the flashback reel of my life.
But then, What goes around .. comes right around. Its been B`lore -> France -> Bhubaneswar and then back to B`lore in this one year. Though it is ever-crowded and ever-bustling Marathalli now instead of old-worldly and quaint Jayanagar, it still is good ol' B'lore.

Life has changed and so have I , I believe, in the past 12 months.Though I don`t think there`s been any life-altering earth-shattering change , but still. For starters I can now legally be categorized under the 'employed class' or 'labour class' of the country. ( Yeah, Prof. Joydeep`s Macroeconomics makes much more sense now than the days when it shoud have).

Then : I wake up sumtime around noon (post-placement, post- final term days of sheer bliss) and mentally abuse the ceiling fan for emitting the slightest of creaks which broke my sleep this early.Anyways,now that I am awake, I think of grabbing a quick brunch at the mess and then off to Bibhu`s room for a movie/bakar marathon.Idyllic lazy walks and Adda sessions in the evenings and daaru sessions at night well into dawn and then trudge back to my creaky ceiling fan and messy room for a dawn-till-noon nap.

Now : I wake up to the alarm screaming its lungs out, sharp at 6:30.Get the house cleaned, cook breakfast for bro, get ready in what.. 4 mins and run to catch the bus, commute along the dustiest grimy-est 20 kms of B'lore and then starts the actual grind. Make reports for the top mgmt. who perhaps don`t even bother to open them, colour some excel sheets, do some number crunching of incomprehensible figures and some fancy analysis, grovel infronta the boss for that one precious day of leave and be subjected to an hour long discourse on how as a manager I should plan my leaves 3 months in advance (Bludy .. I should consult astrological charts to know the actual date when Im supposed to have viral fever !), clock in some overtime and make sure it is noticed by the boss ( Unspoken Corporate Code of Conduct #47 : Never ever leave for the day before your boss does :|) , leave for home (God Bless the faithful Red Volvos), shop for vegetables, reach home all tired and bedraggled but somehow drag yourself to the kitchen to cook ( n when ur cooking for men - my bro in this case, you`d better make it nice .. no kaam chalau stuff would do for this specie whose heart is located inside their stomachs) gulp down the dinner (not daring the taste buds to stay in contact with the food a second longer) and collapse onto ur bed. A few hours hence .. Its just another day ...


Few Other things have changed too ..

My faithful ancient cellphone finally breathed its last after 7 long years .. Had been wimme right from 12th Std. and bore the brunt of everyone`s sniggers when fancy new cellfones came into the market n suddenly having a cell-fone with a lime-green screen and an inch long antenna became a strict fashion no-no .. I still miss u .. Cellotaped Battery and cracked screen and bright red blinking L.E.D notwithstanding.

No more sprinting to early morning classes((dats 9 am :D ) ) in night-suit uppers and worn-out,knee-slashed snug jeans and bathroom slippers.Now I even drop off to sleep in office wear - read : scruffy shirts n trousers or when Im in a rare happy and dressy mood - churidaar-kurtas complete with bindi n bangles :D ( A few more years in Bengaluru n I might sport a gajra soon).

Floaters and flats are gettin comfy staying put in the shoe-rack while I mercilessly plod away in heels and strappy shoes...

The faithful schoolbag has given way to an assortment of girly totes n clutches.Though I still am bad at co-ordinating them with any outfit...

Have started wearing a watch coz apparently looking at your cellfone to check the time isn`t very "Corporate-y" :|..

Have learnt how to convincingly dish out harmless white lies (U know .. texting "Mom, Ill have to call u back later .. in a meeting" while watching Love Aaj Kal for the 5th time at PVR :P )

The Black nailpolish and the toerings had to go and so did the ballpen grafitti on my jeans..

No more indulging in buying Tantra tees in bulk .. its more of waitin for Wills Lifestyle and Van Heusen Sale now...

Kumar Punjabi Dhaba has given way to McD and the likes ... n am I hating it !

Can cook a proper 4-course meal for n- number of people with more confidence than I exuded while making those faff-ey Business Ethics presentions..

No more walking into anyone`s room for a late-night chitchat .. Gtalk and Skype are Godsends now...



Some things still havn`t changed though ...


Still love walking in the rain ..

Still find it difficult to argue and raise my voice .. even when it is absolutely needed..

Still cringe talking about money and pay and the likes ...

Still obsess about weight-loss ...

Still love feeling the wind against my face on late-night bike rides ...

Still get all happy and excited at the prospect of a movie right after office ..

Still find it surprising as tears roll down seeing a lonesome mangy lil pup yelping on a busy road ..

Still cry myself to sleep when the loneliness gets to me ...

Still fall for hopelessly wrong guys ..

Still happiest when with a book in hand and lounge playing on the ipod ..

Still have the gleam in my eyes on spotting a chocolate irrespective of its size ..

Still learning to say NO ...

Still pathetic at taking compliments ..

Still trying to find my niche ..

Still uncertain about what my true calling is ...

Still waiting to be truly happy and content ...

Still unable to fathom whether love is a myth or a truism ...

Still long to nestle between Mom n Dad and watch Hrishikesh Mukherjee movies ...

Still not willing to let go despite knowing it is a lost cause ..



Still .. very much me .. I guess .. I hope ...

Reminiscence

Yeah , I know .. this is my second longest absence from 'My Space...' and that too during a time when I should have blogged diligently and regularly. Perhaps I did not get inspired to pen down all the numerous things that were thrust my way , some all of a sudden .. some others not that sudden ; in a haphazard fashion. I wanted to do justice to these 3 months of my life which I would rather say were more about discovering stuff about my own self rather than discovering the wonders of Europe.

Terming it as a 'dream come true' would perhaps be the greatest lie , coz honestly I hadn`t ever dreamt that I would go backpacking across Europe as a 23 year old , a student and single. This wasn`t to be some teenagery romp across the beaches and mountains with my guy, nor was it meant to be Gondola rides and quiet romantic French dinners with my spouse. To be honest as I was packing my bags for it , back home in chaotic Bangalore , I realised I was the only person among the 12 of us who had no agenda in mind about the next 3 months that lay ahead. One expected it to be a spiritual tour with Vatican and Fatima beckoning him , while for another it was gonna be about French wining and dining and for yet another it was about checking out the female species, from every possible nationality ,up close n personal. Someone wanted to explore the European music scene ,another wanted to check out the soccer and F1 circuit, while yet another wanted to 'do' the sin cities of Amsterdam and Prague. One of the girls wanted to go crazy shopping while another wanted a break from the rigour of an Indian B-school. The rest chanted "I jus wanna travel and travel and travel some more" as their reasons. All I used to do in these meetings, before we embarked upon this, was to hear all of them ramble enthusiastically about how they plan to do their 'thing' once we get there. Later , I would lie down on my bed and try and think of some reason that would excite me about this trip , of some reason that would invigorate me to jump outta bed and start planning and packing. I could find none. A painful and long-drawn break-up did nothing to salvage my already dipping enthusiasm. What made matters worse was the thought that perhaps it was the making of one huge big mistake , an expensive one at that.

After an uneventful flight from Mumbai, As we stopped over at Helsinki to take our connecting flight to Paris , I lost my way in the huge Vanta Airport at Helsinki. All alone and trundling along with a trolley overflowing with luggage, cursing the day when I had made that impulsive decision to opt for this Student Exchange program and having no clue about how I was goin to make it to Paris ... stranded as I was .. I hear my name booming from the Public address system "Sweta Bhoi , FinnAir passenger to Paris" and I see Padhiary running towards me gesturing wildly , I told myself ,amidst the relief coursing through my blood "Abhi khatam nei hua boss" :).

We reach Paris and I make a call back home. It sure felt weird to mouth the words "Hey Dad, Im in Paris now, alls fine".Hell, yeah it did feel so different than the normal "Hey Dad, Ive reached Bhubaneswar, alls good". From this moment onwards started our series of firsts. Our first tryst with trying to ask for directions from the french who are so proudly anti-british that they find it below their dignity to even understand English , let alone speaking it , our first TGV from Paris to Lille.It is midnight when we reach the city that we were to call our home for the next 3 months - Lille. As I step out of Lille Flandres station and feel the chilly breeze tugging at my thin jacket, the realization dawns - I am in France , in Europe .. and this is where I have to make the most of the 3 months that I am to spend here.I glance around at the city that was so clearly in deep slumber and the stunning architecture of the buildings that showed promise of springing to life in the morning.

It sure felt .. different.. to be sharing a house with 8 other people.It wasnt as if I was thrust into a house full of strangers, I knew all of them, infact was pals with most of them. But nevertheless, the whole experience of waking up in the morning n while making a beeline for the loo, bumping into a groggy-eyed, toothbrush-wielding guy who I used to earlier bump into only in classrooms or the mess or at most in the Boys Hostel during overnight assignment n project discussions .. it felt pleasantly weird in the initial few days.It felt kinda homemaker-ish to go shopping for potatoes and ginger-garlic paste with guys with whom I not very long ago used to discuss ERP assignments and Corporate Planning term papers.Yea, It was a Bigg Boss kinda setting and soon the idle bakar and bitching too started off.But, I think I can safely say that my greatest learning from this whole experience has been staying with 8 other people who are as different from the other as chalk and cheese, adjusting along the way with each one`s idiosyncracies and temperaments,grocery shopping, paying bills, cooking, chopping , washing dishes , scrubbing bathtubs and sinks, clearing the trash, vacuuming and mopping the floor, cleaning the toilet.. the works.Learning how to function as one cohesive unit, learning to say 'no' (which I still think I really need to work upon), learning to speak out for oneself and stand by your views.It is now that I realize why all those kids who go abroad at an early age to fend for themselves, return as grounded and quietly-confident individuals.

As my days here in Lille, draw to a close, I have very expectedly switched over to the restrospective mode.As I go for long evening walks and the wintry breeze brushes past me... like flat chalk works its way on a blackboard... I reminisce about my stay in this beautiful lil Lille.The highlights of my trip, I shall be detailing in another post, where I hope to do justice to each little memory that I shall carry close to my heart forever.However I have realised one thing, no matter how many Mills and Boons I read hereon, and vacillate over the hotness quotient of the guys of those many nationalities ; I know my heart would always beat a wee bit faster for a desi. I might mentally salivate over the oozing Italian charm, the quiet Greek intensity, the sharp German intellect or the subdued French passion, but I don`t think there would ever be a bigger turn on than bumping into a nice Indian bloke on a chilly snowy winter evening, at the Grand Place of a quaint little European town,and be greeted by a smiling "Aap bhi India se ho ?" ....

Airport Blues .. Part II

We finally reach Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport at 4 am.
And spot Padhiary at a distance .. Nah , hes not at a distance anymore .. Wait, why is he running towards us .. ?
Padhiary : “Maine tum logon ko bola tha na 3:30 pohoch jane ? Itna late kyun lagaya ? 8 am ko flight hai , agar miss ho gayi to ?!!

Introducing ...Padhiary : Touted to be the biggest brand of XIMB. The ultimate motion man … The constant need to have every appendage of his, moving ..be it his mouth .. his feet .. his hands , is as important to him as breathing itself.



We wheel our stuff inside and report at the check-in counter and come to know that our flight is running an hour late. . Neways, we move ahead , all 6 of us in a line . Suddenly, Pachis who is leading the human train stops abruptly and the rest of us come to a bumpy halt , almost knocking off the person infront with our trolleys .

Reason : Spotted – By Pachis .. A gorgeous, smoky-eyed Lebanese woman. We all finish off with our turns of blatant , open-mouthed staring and look back at Jajoo .. And there he is .. All glassy-eyed .. Walking on jelly-ed legs in one direction .. his luggage trolley going off in another .. and a silly , ‘baring-all-your-teeth’ grin pasted on his face.

Introducing …. Jajoo : The one of the Kajrare thumkas fame , champion of everything remotely marwari and one of the youngest CFA level 1s of XIMB.



Soon we are through with the immigration and security check-ins and reach the waiting lounge with over 3 hours to go before we board our flight. I am ravenous and with much guilt nibble on a cold, leathery sandwich worth Rs. 200 . I see Tapan trying to chew a more leathery burger (worth Rs. 250) and I suddenly don`t feel that guilty anymore. (Bwahahaha .. I know im evil ;) )

Tapan goes to the duty free counters to stock himself up with cigarettes for 3 months. Apparently , one risks bankruptcy if he expects to smoke up on French cigarettes even for a month. And Pachis takes out his uber-cool leather trench coat of a jacket , which sadly is a few sizes too large for his skinny frame.

Introducing .. Tapan : Undeclared ‘stud’ of XIMB, the guy who has his own charming way with girls preferably of the firang breed and who was at that t me , dragging himself to his seat (Courtesy : Army-ish Woodlands shoes several sizes too large and too heavy to be adorning his twig-like legs )



And …Pachis : The scrawny , skinny guitarist and drummer , a fellow IlluminatiX member , with the most likably weird hindi accent and oh yeah , branded as a “Marwari ke naam pe kalank” by Jajoo ; For God knows what reason.



I promptly doze off, not wanting my already tortured tummy to bother digesting that leathery sandwich . After sometime AD gets really bored and fishes out her camera for an extended photo-session of us tortured and bored-to-death sleepyheads.

Introducing .. AD : The unofficial babe of XIMB , almost always turned out in the latest and trendiest in fashion and yeah .. a certified head-turner.



I am rudely woken up by an ear-splitting beep-beep. I half-open my eyes and find that the group photosession too is interrupted by this nauseating alarm which seems to have gone off in the entire airport .. Echoing even louder in the relatively uncrowded morning hours at the terminus. People start looking at us suspiciously as though we were some masterminds behind this irritating beep-beep. We give them the looks of fooling-around-Yes- terrorists- No , to no avail. Just as luck would have it, we see a pot-bellied policeman waddling across towards us .

Policeman (PM) : “Idhar cigarette nei peene ka”
We : “Nei, Piya Sir”

PM : “Koi lighter-wighter jalaya kya “
We : “ Bilkul nei jalaya Sir”

PM : “Kuch to kiya hai tum log. Isiliye alarm baj rela hai”
We : We actually lost it, at this level of accusation and enlightened the moron of a policeman that the alarm is ringing throughout the airport and that he had no rights to accuse us without any proof.
< The latter portion was put across in a not-so-nice way , so can`t actually put down the words here.>

Afterall MBA students hain .. Kadke hue to kya , hamari bhi koi izzat hai !

Mercifully , the highly unnerving alarm stops and I doze off once again (as usual) and the others are back to fooling around.

Soon , our boarding is announced. We decide that it was enough of excitement for that morning and that it was time to be achha-bachas.
So we queue up pretty docilely and proceed towards the big bird waiting to whisk us away .. saat samundar paar.

Airport Blues ..Part I

Date : 24th September 2008
Time : 3 am
Venue : Mumbai , Gaurav`s place

Jajoo, Tapan, Pachis and yours truly sitting propped up on a huge bed beneath huge fluffy blankets …All quiet. We were exactly 5 hours away from taking off on an adventure trip of sorts .. To France ! We liked to refer it as the “the trip of our lives”. The days and months of planning finally reaching fruition. We all sit tranquil and contemplative … Suddenly the silence is broken .. Jajoo : “Abey , humko Papa ne ye suitcase diya hai .. ekdum mast wala .. apna saara documents and paeesa rakhega hum isme .. isko hum agar apna bada wala bag mein daalke, peeche taang lega .. tab to ye hamara hand baggage ban jayega na ??
The rest 3 of us turn … and look at him with utmost undisguised disgust …

Context :
We were going to France for a whole of 3 months ! Yeah , 3 whole months and the total luggage limit allowed by our airlines FinnAir (more about the airlines later ) was a measly 25 kgs !!!

Now , I remember , every time I fly back to college from Bangalore , Im fined for checking in atleast 5 Kgs extra luggage than the permissible limit , which used to be 30 Kgs ! Now the situation works out like this

10 days of vacation at home = 35 kgs
90 days of winter stay in a cold european country = 25 kgs ??!!!!

Bahut nainsaafi hai … !!!

Now , what we 4 were sitting and contemplating were not “French men/women (as the case may be) ke sunehre sapne” ; but rather how the hell are we gonna tow all our numerous pieces of luggage, each of them carrying precious quantities of home food , all the way to France … yeah , including Jajoo`s “mast wala” humongous suitcase (which supposedly should be stuffed into another huge bag of his , and this entire ensemble of his, he plans to flaunt as a backpack in order to pass it off as hand baggage !! For Godsakes ….

P.S This should`ve given you an idea about the kinda people we are :) And we were soon to be joined by AD and Padhiary who are extensive case studies in themselves !
France .. Beware .. here we come .

17th September - Bhubaneswar
18th September - Bangalore
22nd September - Mumbai
24th September - Helsinki
24th September - Paris
25th September - Lille (France)

Reached the destination, which had months of planning behind it.
The funniest part is ... it still hasn`t sunk in :)

More on it .. in my subsequent posts

Chanced by the blog of D, whom I always thought to be annoying and exasperating albeit in a cute way... and discovered a soothing side to him, a side so intricately connected with music , poetry , science and love ...

Sitting here in the room of a dear friend S , trying to trudge through completing my Corporate Planning assignment , I realise how hasty we are in judging people ... How wrong we are in generalising people into 'good' or 'bad' .. no middle path .. either its all 'black' or all 'white' .. we don`t want to leave any scope for the possibility of traces of greys ... in our hurry to categorise people we dont stop by to scratch beneath the surface .. Why ? Perhaps, we don`t wanna accept that we ever went wrong in our judgement the very first time itself ...

S and D are 2 people who have helped me regain my faith in the opposite sex ..the 'dark'er sex ... a little though ... But, enough for the time-being.... One plays Counter Strike like a maniac while the other is a nerd juggling core Marketing and Finance papers with equal aplomb (dats one mean feat; for the uninitiated)... But their passions lie safely ensconced in their loved ones miles away physically ... Both sides slogging away the MBA hours with the alluring vision of a beautiful life ahead ... a life firmly intended to be spent TOGETHER . They make me feel so much better about the fact that such people do exist .. people who don`t tom-tom their emotions, don`t parade their affections .. but feel about them as strongly as one ever could ... People who believe in the beautiful intangible things of life .. Men, who are actually man enough to make their women feel special, cared for immensely and most importantly ... loved unconditionally.

Wish HE made more like them ... Wish HE actually has made more like them .. preferably still single :)

"At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the loved one will stop loving us. What we should fear and dread instead is that we won't stop loving them, even after they are dead and gone."
Had scoffed at the absolute corniness of the lines above when I had first come across them ... never realized that corny stuff too have the ring of familiarity at times..

Ugliest face of man - Betrayal