Old habits die hard..

These days I`ve been in a fix.Im finding office one queer place.For one Im supposed to call the VP (Vice president ) 'Satyen' ..just Satyen.No Satyen Sir and of course No Satyen Ji.This is something im feeling beastly uncomfortable about.

Ever since I was roughly the size of a Cricket bat (longitudinally!!) , I was taught very lovingly by Mom 'Beta,badon ko kabhi naam se nei bulana chaiye.' So, Dad`s driverji was always 'Kanhar Uncle' or 'Triloki Uncle' ,depending upon where Dad was posted at that point of time.Infact,this instruction was so firmly ingrained in my consciousness that I found myself cringing when I heard statements like 'Mera driver aa jayega...' or when one of closest friends used to say 'Shambhu will drop you,don`t worry'.Eeks I would rather much walk back home from pre-school than hear you 'Shamboo-ing' your driver uncle.At home the domestic help was always 'Lakshmi Didi'.Infact I once gave my own Didi a piece of my mind when she accidently forgot to suffix Didi while calling out to Lakshmi Di.I distinctly remember that my favourite Uncle was someone who used to address everyone with an 'Aap',including his own children.

When our new neighbours moved in,they were this elderly Uncle and Aunty with 2 very handsome young sons,who must have been in their mid 20`s,and a little grand-daughter about half my age at that time.She was promptly inducted into my band of little play-partners ,almost all of them a decent 3-4 yrs younger than me , with whom I used to play Chhupa-Chhupi,Hopscotch till late evenings after school.Now, since she addressed those 2 hunks as Mama , naturally so did I (thankfully, my senses hadnt awakened to their good looks in those days of innocence ;)) .Now, the confusion arose when my Mom started addressing her grandmother as Didi.So, these lads would tease me everyday asking "Hum Mama bane ,ya bhaiya ??" and me poor lil soul all of 6 yrs old would get very confused.

In school,every teacher was Miss ,nevermind her marital status.'Miss Narayan' was my favourite even though she was a much married lady,with a son in a higher grade than mine (and now as i recall,upon whom i had this tiniest crush on :D).When we shifted to another city and I went to Loreto,I came back home after the very first day in school in an incredibly sulky mood.I remember telling Dad "Hume nei jana aise school ko.Pata hai yahan sab ladkiyan Miss ko Naam se pukarti hain.Mrs Sinha,Mrs Bannerjee...No manners!!Aise to Mummy bagal wali aunty ko bulati Hain ..Mrs Kumar karke." Papa just smiled..as usual and 'Koi nei-eed' me.I wasnt convinced and started addressing the teachers by 'Ma`am' which dint last very long and I found myself bowing down to peer pressure and mouthing 'Good Morning Mrs Chatterjee' ...

Every senior in School was 'Didi' and 'Bhaiya'.It was sacrilege if any junior referred to them by their names.In college we were supposed to address the seniors by 'Sir/Maam'.The Sir stuck but the Maam soon transformed to good old 'Di'.I remember when during a smithy session in Workshop at Engg coll. , I was having some problems with the saw.So, I asked one of the foremen to help me out , and I 'Sir-ed ' him much to my friends amusement.After he left,a couple of my friends told me 'Idhar sirf teacher hi Sir hain ,the others are supposed to be addressed as Mr.Venkat, Mr. Kamath etc.' I glowered back at them,not knowing what was I more angry about -asking for help in this supposedly guy-dominated subject (In which I happily managed an A+) or about that piece of advice by my friends.

The shopkeepers,if elderly were either Uncle or Sir(much to my friends` amusement) and if somewhat younger then they were Anna/Boss (even though at times a few of them would get offended by the Uncle or Anna(Bhaiya) and wouldn`t hesitate to state what they took offense at).

I once happened to accompany my friend to her boyfriend`s place for christmas.Both the families were Anglo-Indian and as we entered his house,my friend whispered to me 'Doesn't Diana look lovely in that dress ?'.I assumed Diana must be her boyfriend`s lil kid sister who was running around the hall.But my assumptions were soon shown the door when she hugged her boyfriend`s Mum and said 'Merry Christmas,Diana.You look beautiful'.I stood gaping at her.All the while screaming in my mind 'She could be your future mother-in-law and you`re calling her Dianaaaaa'.I really couldnt get over this for the entire evening.

I remember (with Much fondness!!), when I first got talking with 'A' I used to call him 'Bhaiya' (yeah ! you can laugh out loud :S ), and also took to addressing him 'Aap-Aap Karke'.He was a neat 3.5 years older than me and that qualified him as 'Bhaiya' (though I had anything but sister-like feelings for him! :D).After a few days of gentle entreaties from his side to quit this addressing-mode,one day an exasperated 'A' burst out "I am not your brother,and not interested to be one either ,so will you stop calling me that.And Im not that old u know,so pls from now on stick to 'Tum'".I can just say its almost a year after that outburst and at times i do get these occasional guilt-pangs of 'Tum-ing' him.:D

Now,in the past few months in office im facing this problem of addressing my team-mates by their names.Im supposed to call them just Onkar or Sanjeev or whatever.Now most of them are married a few of them with cute lil school going 'Bitiyas'.I cannot possibly say 'Onkar,could we discuss this issue'.After nth reprimands from him to cut out the 'Sir' , I still havent been able to bring myself to call him Onkar.When I can help it I just quit the addressing part altogether by starting off the conversation with an 'Excuse me..'.

Being a person who always attaches the form of addressing a person,with the amount of respect she has for that person , I really am at a loss about my future course of action , coz in my case old habits dont die hard...they just don`t die at all !!